Kicking self – criticism in the coconuts (with love)

Uhhmmm WHY!?

Yup.

That’s THE most asked question by any four-year-old the world over. They question EVERYTHING. They also, for the most part, don’t suffer for very loud inner critics. 

Notice how when a small person brings you a self-made creation, they will most likely give you options like “do you like it or do you LOVE it?” or ” How much do you LOVE it?”. And they have every right to!

Because THAT is how we should approach life!

* side note. Take time to hang out with small folx if you can. Their inside, wold view, and self-work is fascinating! We have SO much to learn from them!  

I digress. What we need to do when our ego (inner critic) goes “Well, THAT’S not very good, is it?” Is to stop. And think. And feel. And realize that what we are feeling is anxiety. and what we are doing is allowing this to happen. and that’s when we go 

” I’M SORRY?! WHAT?! WHY!?”

And given so decent, level headed scrutiny, we’ll will find that it’s mostly just ego-based fuckery and there is no valid, logical and non-self depreciating reason why something isn’t up to scratch. 

Question yourself. HARD. But in a loving way. Dig deep and ask why EXACTLY this thought of self-lack/depreciation/disbelief exists to begin with. 

Example: You doodle something. Your ego goes. FARK! Don’t let anyone see it! It’s so shyte! And so you stop the doodle, scrumple the page and move on. Despite the fact that the doodle was making your heart happy, and reducing your stress levels momentarily. 

STOP!!!! REWIND!!

POUR LOVE ON THAT SHIT!!

And the replay the moment. 

When you ask the hot “WHY”, and you hold the moment long enough, you’ll remember Mizz Whatsername from preschool and how she laughingly mocked your magnificent drawing of a cow in a field, telling you it was “just ridiculous and that ANYONE could do better. Because well, she was having a shit day, and you were in her path. 

35 years later, your Cow, that field and your shame at being giggled at by the whole class sits like a gaping wound on your heart and mind and even though it matters not what anything you draw looks like, because it’s for YOU, and it makes you HAPPY… you avoid it anyway.

So, we take a moment to allow ourselves to re-feel that moment. We forgive Mizz Whatshername for being unkind and wounding us. We take a longer moment to sit with our five-year-old self and tell them that is STILL the most MAGNIFICENT cow ever, and GOOD JOB! 

Let’s get to grips here

*(yes, this part feels fucken silly at first, but it heals in ways you cannot conceive until you do it)

Sit there, look around. Remember the class, look at your mates, see the giggling faces and then watch them change as you allow yourself to forgive it all. They are no longer laughing at you, but with you, at a little cow fart joke, you told to accompany your masterpiece.

What you are doing here is not denying this moment. Or hiding it. You are facing it head-on, and with compassion and love for each being right in that moment, even those that unknowingly caused wounded you. You are then, accepting and releasing it, and then rewriting it the way in which frees you and allows you the peace to move forward. 

The peace to doodle and draw and be creative, because you know you love to, and you deserve to love yourself that way.

Blessed be Sweet Souls,

My heart to yours

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