We are magickal beings. Infinitely so.
Our flow is energy-based. Our truth is our electricity if you will. How it flows depends on our wiring. If our wiring is a bird’s nest of complexity and tangled truths, protecting our will to stay closed, then our energy will merely circle about through the tangle.
This was my life.
And as such, getting to create the magick I was seeking to create was infinitely harder, if not impossible.
It certainly felt that way for me
I had to untangle the wires. One falsehood at a time. Slowly but surely speak my truth and face my reality, and as I did, and have, the flow strengthens and gets quicker to access. And with this change, my magick is becoming more potent. More easily focused and manifestation more achievable in a realistic time frame.
While I have not chosen healing as a path to solely aid my Kraft, it certainly has worked in its favor.
I chose to heal for my own freedom. For my ability to exist and not just survive. For my will to break the bonds that held me to my trauma and the generations before mine too.
I chose to heal to allow myself to live to my potential, to grow. To make damn certain that my babies would not live and breathe my pain, or the pain of those who went before, as I had.
I chose healing because despite my desperate will to not reside on this planet, in my soul I knew I had work to do, and that being here meant I would be able to close a door and not return to spaces that had haunted me for so many lifetimes.
I chose healing from a very primal and visceral place in my being, and now, that I am experiencing life from a more healed and healthy perspective, I am finding life just that, raw, delicious and visceral.
Where before, it was closed, confining, tasted only of fear and shame, and I existed to support that narrative only.
My story now is as vast as the universe. As open and free as I allow. I am my only limitation. literally.
I chose to heal to allow all that was trapped and jammed up in me by the walls I had built to protect my hurt, to fall. I have smashed, bashed and decimated their every brick and let the light of truth stream in.
The flow of energy in my life is just so different from when I chose to live my pain. The tightly coiled wires of panic and confusion I held close for so long as now gentle loops of love, flow to and from all stations of learning and expansion I am creating.
And I feel, for me that perhaps a lot of the struggle I experienced as a witch before, and my needing to stay hidden was self-imposed to some degree because I couldn’t be the witch I am now until I was the woman I needed to be.
That woman, wrapped suffocatingly in the “this is a massive fire hazard” wiring of her life, fearing everything, anything, and mostly, herself.
When we have been affected by another’s power, it a young age, in a negative or hurtful way. We are taught, on a cellular level that power and authority are both wrong/dangerous and are to be feared. And so we abhor the idea of stepping into our own power.
Hence victim cycles run so freely and span generations.
I’m still not certain where the strength, tenacity and sheer fucking inner rebellion came from when I made that first step to self-love, but I know that once I made it, and I felt the magnificence of that initial footfall, I was capable of the next. As if by Magick.
Such is the flow.
Perhaps not every day no. Some days, standing dead still and just being, is good enough too.I’ve had so many of those. And then again other days, a sprint is what was needed to move forward.
But, being cognizant of moving forward, is what I have earned through this process, and it is something I will always nurture and cherish.
My heart to yours,
Blessed Be Sweet Soul,